Try Our New Baby Products!


The Baby Cage $45.79

Live in the city? Want your child to get fresh air? Try the new baby cage! The Baby Cage let city kids get fresh air... by hanging out of a window. Completely 100% safe



The Baby Dangler $29.63

Don't have your hands free? Want to take a walk without having to carry your child? Well grab a partner and take that walk with the new Baby Dangler! Kids love it



Baby Protection $2,783.54

Ever wonder what you would do in case of a toxic gas attack? What if your child died during the attack? Well worry no more! We are now selling our newest product, a pram to protect babies from a toxic gas attack! Order yours today.




DayCare Options Need someplace to leave your child while you go to work? Well look no further! Find Daycares close to you with important features like chain-linked fences, barbed wire, electric chairs, and broken glass. Like our motto says: "Never make eye contact when eating a banana".

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Find-A-Babysitter Think Daycare options are unsafe these days? Why not have babysitters come to the comfort of your house? We offer a wide range of babysitters including dependable axe murders, escaped criminals, criminal masterminds, and thieves. These people have earned our trust, so why not take our word? *DISCLAIMER* Find-A-Babysitter is not responsible for broken or missing items, or the health condition(s) of customers and children.

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Adopt-A-Baby Dreamed about having a child? Are you sterile? Well, there is hope for you! Adopt a beautiful, young child that may or may not be demonic.  You don’t know until you try!

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